Elliot says...

Why shouldn't a seven-year-old have a blog? A father poses questions and a son answers directly, honestly, and candidly with the directness, honesty, and candor that only a seven-year-old can bring. Dictated and moderated by AmsterdamAsp , these are the words of Elliot himself: simple and complex observations of the world from the mind of a six-year-old...

Thursday, July 20, 2006

How does it feel to be Floyd Landis?



[Our family has been closely following the Tour de France on television this summer -- as we have for the past several years -- as "Le Tour" is one of the major broadcast sports events in Europe. Today, one of the top American contenders -- Floyd Landis -- bounced back from a disastrous showing yesterday. Elliot was so inspired by his compatriot's performance that he decided not to just cheer for Floyd Landis -- but to actually become Floyd Landis! And throughout supper and the early hours of this evening, we've been enjoying the company of celebrity. He was kind enough to grant us a short interview.]

I don't have much time to talk because I have to do the race. I'm having a good race. I get the fastest. I'm faster than all the other racers. Do you know what they say when I win the race? They say, "Good race, Floyd." Well, my feet feel like they're kind of on the pedals.

[How many miles did you have to race today?]

Pretty much miles. But right now, I'm not on the race because I'm having a water break. Do you think George Hincapie [another American contender in the Tour de France, unwillingly played by liitle sister Olivia] is still having a water break?

[What do you think about the pizza dinner that we're having tonight after the race, Floyd?]

Well, I think that it's pretty... Well, Floyd really likes pizza. This is the first time that Floyd has had this kind of pizza. Well... I think that the race pizza is doughy. [But what about other kinds of pizza?] Yeah, I like those.

[Do you think you're going to be able to win the Tour de France this year?]

Yeah. I'll lean over my handles.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Why was Amber mad at school today?

Because I was going potty, and she didn't know that boys could go standing up pee. Because she didn't know it, she wanted me to take toilet paper and wipe my bottom. And I didn't know why she was so mad at me. It was just some reason. She wanted to give me some toilet paper, but I didn't need it because I was going standing-up-pee.

She said, "Ik ben een beetje boos met je" ["I'm a little bit mad at you"]. But I didn't say anything. I didn't know why she was boos [angry]. I don't know why she was boos, but she was boos. I don't know what I said.

[Just for clarification, the situation seems to have arisen from the fact that the school does not keep toilet paper in the toilet stalls themselves (lest they be used to clog the drain). Instead, when children leave the classroom to use the toilet, they must bring along a few squares of toilet paper before they go out of the classroom. Thus, Elliot's classmate was likely bringing him some toilet paper, thinking that he had accidentally forgotten it.]

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Do you like speaking Dutch?

Not so much. Because I like speaking English at home and Dutch in school. 'Cause I'm supposed to speak Dutch in the school. It's hard for me to learn so much. Because I don't know some of it.

[Which parts don't you know?]

Lots of different parts. Lots of different parts I don't know. The parts that aren't in English.

[Which parts do you know?]

Een vlinder en een vlieger [a butterfly and a kite]. "Tjoem zet de vlieger en de vlieger om hoog"... [my best guess at translation is "Zoom went the kite and the kite went up high" -- he continues singing an elaborate song about a vlieger that's too quick to transcribe].

I have nothing to say in Dutch because I already know Dutch. Dad, I only practice it once a day.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Why haven't you been blogging so much lately?

Well, because I have to go to school. For a long time. They have a castle there. Well, I haven't been to the castle so much now, so I'm not so sure, because the other boys are not up there for very long. So I just have to play with the other boys. Because there were only girls upstairs and downstairs. So I play with the big boys. They said if you go in the girls, then they say you will be in groep twee [second grade]. So I play with the boys.

I didn't write in my blog because I didn't really have to do it, because I didn't know what to say. Because I didn't know what I was going to say before I did it.